Lost Creek Wilderness {November 2011}

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Third Time's a Charm

Tomorrow may be one of the most critical and decisive days of my life {in the context of my future}. I have applied to medical school three times. That’s two times too many. No one should have to endure such an unsettled and gypsy-like lifestyle … never knowing where you’ll be in two weeks, six months, one year from the present moment. I have an unfinished Peace Corps application, I can’t really commit to a full-time job, and there are incredibly small windows in which to make and keep concrete plans with anyone. For instance, my family is renting out a villa in Italy during the month of September. I’d love nothing more than to say that I can join them, but it would be rather unrealistic in light of the possibility (and hope) that I would be in medical school.

Although I haven’t entirely put my life on hold for the past two-three years, it has been difficult to feel settled. I suppose I’ve learned to accept and embrace the circumstance, using it to my advantage. There is no better time to explore Colorado, drive across our neighboring states, visit friends who are far away, and travel abroad. My work schedule is extremely flexible (less so recently), and I don’t feel rushed to clutter my agenda knowing that I will never have this much time for myself again {until I’m retired and life is considerably less fun}. It may seem selfish, and it is. But, I’ve enjoyed the time getting to know who I am – ironically, repetitive medical school applications and personal essays have helped significantly in the process – what I want, what I don’t want, what I deserve, and what I am meant to do. I’ve also discovered the elusive source of and key to unconditional happiness J So many people never get that far. Either they aren’t willing to try, can’t figure out where to start, don’t take the time to learn, or convince themselves otherwise.

As for tomorrow, I’m not too nervous; I’ve been through all of it before. I would rather have an interview at Colorado than anywhere else - it's my home, and it's comfortable. And, of course, I want to stay. Mostly, I’m grateful for the opportunity to explain why I belong there, and I'm anxious to try my hardest at guaranteeing a spot in this year’s entering class. It’s just a bit crazy to think about the extent to which one day {really, one minute … one decision, one action} can change the course of your future. Tomorrow contains one of those moments.

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