Serendipitous Existence

No Italian holiday {life would be dreadfully boring perfection if set plans always worked out}. No remarkable MCAT score {I suppose time and effort cannot necessarily ensure desired results}. Twenty-four applications {what would I do with myself in Saint Louis?} Six rejections {Stanford was a long shot anyway}.

Despite intense punctuated feelings of chaos woven tightly within the fabric of my life, a few constants and familiar comforts have remained strong throughout it all: the way music can erase negativity and illuminate a darkening world; how happy I am in this exquisite state with endless opportunities for mountain exploration; a glass of wine after a day overflowing with frustration and doubt; and, of course, the love and support (often given unknowingly) from my family, Justin and a 'small-world-like' network of friends ... near and far, old and new. These things, collectively, make me feel good about medical school this year as well as the new path my life has taken; for once, I truly am optimistic that the events of the past few years were just serendipitous twists and turns to ensure I end up somewhere wonderful ...

... which brings to mind one of my favorite well-wishes from Edward Abbey  ...

'May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds'

Italy: the consolation

Casa Simona, Tuscany

The above link will take you to a lovely description (complete with photo gallery) of this charming restored barn in the heart of Tuscany, Italy. This shall be my home for a time in September; it will also be a celebratory location for my 25th birthday on the 16th.

So it wasn't in the cards for me this year ... medical school, I mean. The interviews went well - I'm a decent judge of these things, and I've learned to trust my instincts. As for a short-term solution, I've requested to speak with Dr. Winn, the Dean of Admissions at the University of Colorado. He's a Notre Dame alum, and he's an amiable, though painfully realistic, guy. I believe it to be my MCAT score that's preventing me from receiving that acceptance letter ... perhaps my low-ish science GPA, maybe both? I don't know anymore. Three years is just crazy, and I am mentally, physically, and emotionally drained. I need someone to tell me bluntly what the hell is wrong with me. 

This really is not the end of the world (despite how I felt yesterday afternoon in the car, stopping for a split second to give partial credence to the thought that I almost wouldn't have minded being in a car accident on that particular day). Either way, I suppose I'll find the answers and fix what I can for next year. I've always believed things work out the way they're meant to .... and there is always a positive side to every misfortune. 

I must admit, Italy is a pretty fantastic consolation prize!